Some Characteristics of Lasting Love

couple kissing brian harkin getty images Some Characteristics of Lasting Love

Photo by Brian Harkin//Getty Images

Relationships scientists say that the honeymoon stage of a relationship lasts for about six months to two years. After that, the “druglike” hormones wear off and the couple of left trying to recapture the feelings they initially had. Or finding flaws they never noticed before.

Because of instances such as this, people are often hesitant to say a monogamous relationship can work. But if you are logical (even in the throes of unfettered love), you can make wise decisions on “who” to fall in love with–if your definition of falling in love is being together forever.

Dating experts outline seven match areas to consider:

1. Physical appearance
Face it. You aren’t going to be young, fit, and beautiful forever. And neither is your partner. Can you be with someone that won’t look as hot in twenty, ten, even two years? Don’t be afraid of feeling superficial. If those things are important to you then embrace them. Being realistic is better than being mean down the road when your partner has gained weight and isn’t attractive to you anymore.

2. Emotional maturity
Your partner may be the most exciting person to “party” with, but do they have a strained relationship with core people in their lives like family? Can they make what you consider to be “mature” life decisions? Everyone’s definition of emotional maturity is different, so consider yours. If the person you are in love with doesn’t fit that, there might be tension down the road.

3. Lifestyle choices
This includes career and social lives, common interests, leisure time activities and energy levels. Would she rather join the bowling league or the metropolitan symphony? Does he have lots of energy for activities with friends while she’d rather rest and chill out at home?

4. Financial compatibility
Most fights couples get into are about money. Maybe you love to live a lavish lifestyle, although paycheck-to-paycheck. Your partner is more of a saver. This is going to come back to bite you. Make sure you discuss important things like finances in detail, even going so far as creating “contracts” or “rules” so that no one feels bitter down the road.

5. Value structure
This area is often overlooked but has a tremendous impact on your life. It includes the big values: honesty, integrity, loyalty, views on family and children, religion and spirituality, life goals and the treatment and care for others. Does your mate follow through on promises made? Would you say this person is trustworthy? Will you always be there for each other in a pinch?

6. Marriage and intimacy
Some couples need to hang out all the time. Others are more comfortable being independent. If you are at opposition with your partner on this issues, it will definitely become an issue when your needs aren’t being met. Discuss these things early on and learn how to compromise. Or, alternately, if you aren’t willing to compromise, consider ending the relationship.

7. Intelligence
Having similar education levels increases your chances of sharing matching school and social experiences, intellectual interests and career goals. What topics do you and your honey like to talk about? Conversation limited to sports or shopping may get boring to someone who likes to ponder philosophy and bluster about business.

Of course, when it comes to love, sometimes you can help but be in difference with lots of these core issues. Just make sure you are realistic and live in the present and your relationship shouldn’t be too worse for the wear.

[Source: Yahoo! Match]

  • RainbowRay

    I believe the “honeymoon” can last FOREVER, but you really have to work at it as a “couple” which includes: “getting to REALLY know each other which includes NOT KEEPING SECRETS from each other, open communication between both parties (MEN, IT’S OKAY TO OPEN UP AND COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR WIFE/GIRLFRIEND—WHEN YOUR IN A RELATIONSHIP IT”S KNOW TIME TO BE SHY OR HOLD BACK), but that’s my opinion anyway; if they don’t want to that’s their choice and it will effect the relationship; then the honeymoon will REALLY be over.

    Also, couples should “work things out, work it ALL out”; you’ll feel better. The above tips also apply and is good advice for people to follow.

    The reason that relationships DON’T WORK in my opinion is because they lack “LOVE” in the relationship and there is no COMMUNICATON in that relationship. Some men are afraid to open up with their wives/girlfriends which I feel is a big mistake.

    My girlfriend Fiona and I have been going together for six years and she is still learning things about me (always learning and finding out things about each other) so that when the time’s right we’ll get married and settle down knowing that we are comfortable with each other and not holding back and keeping secrets (always communicating about different things; being social with each other. Believe me it works otherwise why would I not be in LOVE with her and dreaming these dreams of mine as well as having been going out with her for six years).

    My advice is to take all this advice plus the above advice; it’ll work but you have to WANT TO WORK AT IT and NOT GIVE UP (to many people give up based on the stories I read from Hollywood and anywhere else for that matter).

    More then 50% of marriages breakup nowadays because of “NO LOVE” in the relationship, a lack communication or breakdown and giving up to easily to work at it.

    My grandparents were married 52 years (god rest Opa’s soul) and my aunt and uncle will have been married 30 years come this May (MAZALTOV!!). Now I ask you, they must have/are done/are doing something right, right? I want to do the same as they (great role models for me) when I marry Fiona one day. Right Fiona, my little jerk chicken (she’s Jamaican) Right? Right? Oh well. Miss you babe. Es Loti Milu (I love you in Latvian), Ich lieber dich (I Love You in German), Je t’aime (I Love You in French).

    Just a little food for thought; take it or leave it.


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